Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
