So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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