Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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