do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
