bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she looked like the before picture.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
