The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
