The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Drake has all the answers
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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