you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
