So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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