she was so not down for the gang bang
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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