Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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