We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sext me about skeletons
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
