We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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