East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize