Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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