you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
