before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
