Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
