I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
