I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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