So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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