I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
