my mouth tastes like poor choices
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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