There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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