I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My dick has a subreddit
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
