You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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