she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
