It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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