Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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