I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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