It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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