yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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