I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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