Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
