All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
