I accidentally burped into my bong.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize