I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
