we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize