are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
