I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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