Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
