Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
