would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I deserve this hangover.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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