Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
