and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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