My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
