What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
