i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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