You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
