He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
