does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
im holly from the hills drunk
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
