It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
