i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wannas sexs uuuuu
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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