Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
