Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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