We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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