is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
