just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize