then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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