You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
