She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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